Science updates.

Some recent happenings in the world of science:

(1) Soccer-playing robots have learned how to fall properly

Some scientists basically did a physical analysis of the least stressful way the robot could fall, then programmed these parameters into the robots CPU. Arsehole robots will probably start deliberately falling over during soccer games and screaming "UMPIE!", another human quality to learn: cheating.

(2) The mystery that is placebo's evil twin: nocebo

Most scientists laughed off the idea that nocebo could have a serious impact upon someones health, but recent developements have suggested that it is to be taken seriously. Simply believing something is bad for you can have very adverse consequences they have found.

(3) Budget is too short to go to the moon

Apparently the budget for NASA this year is 3.1 billion shorter then expected, so the hopes of getitng to the moon by 2020 have been dashed for now. I dimly suspect this is temporary though.

(4) Blue whales are dumb

After retreating to California waters in response to being whaled to fuckin death by the Japs, Blue whales are slowly coming back to Pacific waters off North America. Probably because there isnt enough food around California, since everyone fuckin starves themselves there to be skinny, but scientists reckon we can scapegoat global warming for it as well, since global warming is meant to somehow reduce the krill population, the tucker of choice when the whales come down with a bad case of the munchies.

(5) Darwin is majorly pissed off.

Some people know about the fetish Darwin had for birds on the Galagpos islands, he used these birds to offer supporting evidence for speciation (where new species are created from old ones). Well the dead motherfucker is turning in his grave as we speak. The medium tree finch, one of his BFF birds, is endangered and slowly inching closer to extinction. It is joining the other 191 species of birds on the endangered species list. They reckon the main reason is these greedy little parasitic flies that are also on the island, have an affinity for medium tree finches, and like to suck the life out of them because, well, they taste good. Poor little buggers.

(6) Get ready for juiced up zombies, they are gonna be eating designer BRAIINNNNSSSS!!!

Genetic enhancement, mechanical implants, downloadable computer software and information, this is all becoming a reality for our favourite clump of newurons and grey matter between our ears. We are entering an age of intellectual badassery. Forget tattooes, forget how many bad ass life threatening stunts you have done, this is the new wave of mental extremity. Imagine being able to say to mates that you are an expert physician, surgeon, biologist, computer scientist, mechanical engineer, political scientist, comedian, pick up artist, actor, musician, economist, systems analyst and mathematician all in one - and you downloaded it into your head five minutes ago?? That is the shit man.

Thats all for now